Introduction
A while back, I did a post on how I make my maps. http://ryallon.blogspot.com/2011/05/mapmaking-for-fantasy-worlds.html As I write, I add to my maps. So I'm doing this post to show you the updated versions for my books. I've also named what was formerly "The Northern Continent". It is now Nulanea. There are more continents on Ryallon, the closest being Antilea and Pomelea, but this is the only one I have mapped.
All of the smaller maps here are in Nulanea. I've also changed the font from Carolingua to Fairydust to match the fonts on my covers.
Nulanea
The Continent of Nulanea. This is the northernmost continent on Ryallon. This map is found in the Willden, Wyvern and soon to come Crazed Trilogies.
Eddland
The Kingdom of Eddland. This is the setting of the Wyvern Trilogy. In the first book, Pelya travels on back roads from Dralin to Settatt where the Blue Wyverns are located. Book 2 will begin there and continue to Zimth, the capital of Swelth (Not my best names, I know, but . . .) It will go elsewhere after that, as will book 3.
Eddland is a country of trade and merchants. It also has vast orchards, farmland and wineries. It has become wealthy over the last few centuries.
Soaarth
The country of Soaarth. This one of the settings for the Crazed Trilogy. You may notice 2 capitals. It is the only country in Nulanea with such a thing. Aest is where the senate resides. They make the policies and laws of the kingdom.. Thea is one of the most active seaports in the world and where the executive branch of the country rests. The entire coast is filled with trade, but the northern coast is rife with piracy. The Partade Marshes are toxic to people and are the home a hostile race called Marbu.
The chief crop is parthmellya, a fast growing plant from which paper is made out of, most of which
is exported through Aest, which keeps a tight control on it. Soaarth is also known for wineries and a vast variety of herbs grown found in its forests and hills.
Greffen Province and Cothbern
The Greffen Province of Paruuth and the city of Cothbern. This is the setting of Rain Glade. Paruuth is a kingdom that has been impoverished by war between its provinces. The peasants are poor, most never seeing a copper in their lives. The Greffen province is tucked into the enchanted Grendia Forest in the southwest corner of the kingdom. It is surrounded by impassible mountains on two sides.
Cothbern is a completely unremarkable village where Rain, the main character of Rain Glade, lives.
This area may or may not be in the Crazed Trilogy. We'll have to see.
Willden Forest and Kethril
The Willden Forest where the Willden Trilogy takes place, and Kethril, where book 3 of the trilogy happens. It is one of the largest forests in the world and filled with magical beasts and Druids. The Caaldith Mountain range borders the east side of it.
The "Valley" at the bottom is where Tathan and Liselle were raised. It is nearly unreachable through treacherous mountain passes to Swelth and Klizania, and through an ancient road through the Willden.
Kethril is where the 3rd book of the trilogy takes place and is also the namesake for that book.
Those are all the updates for now. I hope you've enjoyed them. I'll do another update in a year or so as I add more. :)
All my best,
John H. Carroll
All images copyright John H. Carroll
This is where I, John H. Carroll the Fairly Awesome, shall post random musings about my writing, emo bunnies, or anything else that amuses me.
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Friday, March 29, 2013
Wyvern Chapter 1
Wyvern - Chapter 1
This is the first chapter of my upcoming book, "Wyvern", Book 1 of the Wyvern Trilogy. It is now available at these stores:
Smashwords https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/304813?ref=johnhcarroll
Amazon http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CAUH6ZA
Kobo http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/Wyvern/book-ZmcvhCra5UK33KVzcex6zw/page1.html
Apple https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/wyvern/id635556128?mt=11
This is the first chapter of my upcoming book, "Wyvern", Book 1 of the Wyvern Trilogy. It is now available at these stores:
Smashwords https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/304813?ref=johnhcarroll
Amazon http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CAUH6ZA
Kobo http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/Wyvern/book-ZmcvhCra5UK33KVzcex6zw/page1.html
Apple https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/wyvern/id635556128?mt=11
Pelya’s sapphire-blue eyes sparkled in the heavy afternoon
sun. She slouched in the saddle, studying
the village resting at the intersection of two insignificant roads that cut
through the endless farmlands of Altordan.
Sounds of a few industrious townsfolk and children at play drifted
above the maddening buzz of insects that had dominated her hearing since
leaving Dralin. A mild breeze alleviated
the worst of the fall heat and rustled tomato vines that dominated the
landscape.
Altordan was a large country existing primarily to protect
and provide for Dralin, its capital.
Well-maintained highways spoked outward like a jagged wagon wheel from
the city to other countries, but Pelya was avoiding those. They were crowded and she wanted peace and solitude
to think.
Honey, her beautiful chestnut warhorse with blonde mane,
flicked a tail at biting flies. A
disinterested packhorse tethered to Pelya’s saddle nosed a bit of grass that
had grown in the middle of the rutted road. It whinnied, probably wanting a true meal.
A family wearing simple clothing and wide-brimmed hats
collected ripe tomatoes amongs the vines in the distance to Pelya’s right. They kept glancing in her direction as though
worried she would steal their livelihood.
It wouldn’t be hard if she were so inclined. Pelya adjusted the chain-reinforced leather
sword belt around her waist. She was a
master with the pair of enchanted swords that rested in sheaths at her hips.
She wouldn’t steal from the worried family. Pelya had spent her entire life in the Dralin
City Guard learning that it was important to protect people, not harm them. Her father had raised her along with more
than a thousand Guardmembers she called her aunts and uncles.
She didn’t wear that uniform anymore. Now, a form-fitting black tunic and pants,
both with intricate designs of mystic silver thread, covered her powerful,
six-foot frame. She looked down at the
priceless clothes. Even after days of
dust and mud on the road, they were spotless thanks to enchantments Ebudae had
sewn into the clothing.
A twinge of distress twisted Pelya’s heart. More than anyone, she missed the impudent and
powerful wizardess who had been her best friend. Pelya tugged at her long, jet-black braid
with a gloved hand to knock the feeling away.
It didn’t help, so she gave Honey a gentle nudge with polished boots and
continued toward the village.
Six days had passed since her banishment from Dralin for
killing a chancellor of the High Council.
The events kept looping through her memory. She and others had uncovered a plot to overthrow
the High Council and create a new god. A
battle in the ruins below Dralin had destroyed the god and foiled the plot, but
even that couldn’t save her from banishment.
To make matters worse, Pelya had been having nightmares about the battle
and the yellow-eyed monks who had been possessed by the god.
Pelya rode into the quaint village. A hodgepodge of small businesses, the largest
of which was a two-story inn, surrounded the main intersection. Pelya was grateful for its presence. She had camped under the stars since leaving,
and while her clothes might stay magically clean, her body didn’t.
A burly blacksmith with cropped hair stopped hammering on a
plow. She waved at him and received a
surprise smile and wave of his hammer in return. There was also a tanner’s shop, a woodworker
and a small market she might visit the next day to resupply. The buildings were painted and well
maintained by the hardworking folk.
A group of elderly women wearing bonnets and long, pastel
dresses sat in a shady area under some trees.
They stopped their sewing and stared at Pelya for a moment. She greeted them with a wave as well. They briskly nodded in return before going
back to work. Pelya ignored the way they
huddled together and whispered. It was
what old women did.
Across the intersection from the inn, a soldier came out of
a small building. He was straightening
the chain shirt he had just put on before taking his sword belt from an
apprentice who hadn’t quite reached manhood.
The apprentice was wide-eye and unsure in his steps as he brushed aside
too-long hair while checking his own sword.
Pelya dismounted as she reached the intersection so she
would be eye level with the men and not so intimidating.
The soldiers approached with determination. The elder of the two had a great deal of grey
in his carroty hair and a hitch in his self-important step. The muscular arm he held up in greeting
belied his advanced age. His vibrating,
tenor voice carried through the quiet air “Hello traveler. I’m Sergeant Pifflin of the Altordan
army. What’s your business here?”
“Just passing through, Sergeant.” Pelya hoped he wouldn’t be too friendly. “I intend to spend the night at your inn and
then be on my way. You’ll get no trouble
from me.”
“See that we don’t!”
Sergeant Pifflin puffed out his chest.
“I may not be in my prime, but I can still hold my own.” He stepped forward as though to intimidate
Pelya. “I’ve got the might of Altordan behind
me too. Something happens to me and you’ll
have the army to deal with.”
Pelya was half a foot taller and could have taken him even
when he was in his prime. She had just
finished killing a god, so the threat of an army didn’t impress her. Instead of telling the man that, she merely repeated
herself. “You’ll get no trouble from
me.”
“Ah, well, good then.”
Sergeant Pifflin hooked his thumbs in his belt. “Where do you hail from?”
“I’ll be at the inn, Sergeant.” Pelya led her horse around him and toward the
stables.
The man stared after her for a minute before turning to his
apprentice and shrugging. The apprentice
shrugged back.
As Pelya entered the inn’s stable yard, a chipper young
woman in her mid-teens came out of a stall, brushing hay off durable pants and
a light shirt. Her voice was as lively
as her manner. “Hi! I’m Terry.
Would you like your horses cared for?”
She pulled strands of her ponytail to tighten it in the string that
bound it.
“Yes, I’ll be spending the night. Do I pay you or the innkeeper?”
“You’ll pay my pa. He’s the innkeeper.” Terry took the reins Pelya handed her and
looked at Honey in admiration. “She’s a
beaut!”
Honey nuzzled the girl’s neck.
“Her name is Honey.
She’s the finest steed you’ll ever meet.” Pelya detached her saddlebags and slung them
over her left shoulder. They had her
most valuable possessions.
“I’ll take the best care of them both. Shall I bring in the rest of your bags?”
Terry asked.
“After the horses are cared for.” Pelya handed her a silver coin.
Terry took it and then tried to hand it back. “You’ll want to pay pa inside. He handles all the money.”
Pelya shook her head.
“I’ll pay your pa. That’s for
you.”
Terry’s jaw dropped.
“A silver? For me? I can’t.”
She tried to hand it back, but Pelya was already walking away.
Upon entering the bright common room, Pelya stood for a
moment and looked around. The shutters
were open on the windows to let fresh air circulate. Straw littered the floor to soak up mud and
spills. The stools and table were sturdy
wood, likely made by a local artisan. Four
old men stopped talking to stare at her from a table near an open window. She nodded at them and they nodded back.
Near the stairs, Terry’s pa sat behind a counter that served
as the bar and the hotel desk. He was a stout
man with clean clothes and short, tangled hair.
He waved Pelya over with a hairy hand.
“Can I help you?”
She went over. “How much is a room for one night and meals? I also have two horses to be stabled, one of
which is a warhorse. The other is a
packhorse.”
The innkeeper stood in alarm. “A warhorse?”
He looked toward the door Pelya had come in. “Terry . . .”
“Is fine,” Pelya reassured him. “Honey likes her. How much?”
She pulled out her coin purse and undid the strings. She had more coin and gem pouches hidden within
her shirt.
The innkeeper looked at the door again before sitting back
down. “It’ll be three coppers for the
room, two for the meals, not including ale . . .” he noticed the quality of her
clothes, “. . . or wine if that’s what you prefer. I’ve got a few bottles, but they’re
expensive. Not much call for it out here. The warhorse is another three coppers and the
packhorse two, so . . .” He did the math
in his head. “Ten copper pieces, or one
silver.”
It was much less than Pelya, used to city prices, had
imagined. No wonder Terry had been so
surprised by the tip. Pelya fished out
two silver, hardly lightning the pouch at all.
She pushed them forward on the counter.
“I’ll want a bath as well. Keep
the extra.”
The innkeeper picked up the coins with an expression of
surprise on his face. “Thank you. That’s more than generous.”
Pelya considered for a moment. “I should let you know that I also gave Terry
a silver piece. I don’t want you
thinking she came by it dishonestly.”
Surprise became astonishment. “For a girl?”
Pelya leaned forward intimidatingly. Her voice gained an edge. “Yes.
For a girl. Where’s my room and
where can I get the bath?”
The innkeeper shrank back.
“Your room is the last one on the right.
It’s the quietest. I’ll send
someone when we have the bath ready for you.”
He composed himself. “Will you
take meals down here or in your room?”
“I’ll take dinner in my room and breakfast down here.” Pelya moved to the stairs.
He called after her as she climbed. “Did you want to use one of our locks? It’ll be no charge for you.”
“I have my own.” A
moment later, Pelya reached the second floor and headed down the narrow
hallway. There were six plain doors on
each side and a second stairway at the other end with a rope blocking it,
likely for servants.
Pelya entered her room and set the saddlebags on the lone
table. The bed had a straw mattress and
clean sheets with a crocheted blanket and a pillow. A nightstand had a candle, a pitcher of water
and a bowl for washing up. Two chairs
were the only other things in the room.
Pelya went to the window and opened the shutters. There were a few houses lining the street
behind the inn and a group of young children playing. She wondered what it would have been like to
be raised in a village like this.
She sat at the edge of the bed and stared blankly at the
wall until there was a knock at the door sometime later. Pelya groaned from stiff muscles as she stood
and went to open it.
Terry stood there with Pelya’s bags. “I have two more trips, but it won’t take me
long at all. Oh, and your bath is
ready.”
“Thank you.” Pelya
took the bags. “I let your father know
that I gave you a silver, so don’t hide it from him.” She closed the door, leaving Terry to stare
wide-eyed. Pelya’s hunch had been
correct. She opened the door again and
saw Terry slipping under the rope of the service entrance. “Where is my bath?” Pelya asked.
Terry unhooked the rope.
“It’s down here in the back. I
can take you.”
“One moment.” Pelya
retrieved her lock from her saddlebags.
She closed the door and hooked the lock on the latch made for that
purpose.
She didn’t think anyone would try to steal her things, but
to be on the safe side, she cast a simple alarm ward on the door. It was something Ebudae had taught her. A few loose strands of braided hair gusted
around Pelya’s face as the magical breeze of casting swirled. It wasn’t a strong spell, or the breeze would
have been fiercer. Terry’s jaw hung open
when Pelya turned to her. “What’s wrong,
Terry?”
“You’re a wizard? I
thought since you wear swords . . .”
Pelya moved past her and headed down the stairs. “I’m not a wizard, but knowing the occasional
spell is convenient. No more questions
now.” At the bottom of the stairs, she
stepped aside to let the girl take the lead again.
Terry stopped and opened her mouth to ask another question,
but Pelya’s warning glance was enough to shut it.
After a long bath, Pelya retired to her room. When dinner came, she ate without tasting. She locked the door from the inside after
finishing and putting the wooden tray of empty dishes on the floor of the hall.
Pelya sat on the bed, brought her knees up and broke down
into quiet tears. The young woman was
beginning to feel the burden of being alone.
She missed her father. She missed
Ebudae. She missed the Guard and all her
aunts and uncles.
Pelya longed for the sounds and smells of the chaotic
city. There was always danger in
Dralin. Staying alive was a vague
proposition on the best of days. She missed
the adventures with Ebudae into the ruins underneath the city.
Now she was out in the world farther than she had ever been
before, resting in a quiet little inn.
There was no danger. Anyone with
a silver piece was rich. At times in her
travels, there wouldn’t be a building or a person in sight. She could stand on a rock and stare for miles
in every direction. It was unnerving.
Pelya dozed off a few times in between fits of crying. It was terrible to be alone.
She was not handling it well.
***
Pelya saw fear in the
milky-yellow eyes of the god. He wore a
brown robe spattered with iridescent gold.
His arms reached out for her.
Then it switched to a
different face mutated by anger with eyes of yellow fire. The robes were violent red. Its arms flailed as though scolding her.
A woman’s face rotated
into view. Her robes were a riot of
colors that pained the senses. She had
no eyes and her hands were clasped to her chest in despair and confusion.
A thousand monks
surrounded Pelya. Their yellow eyes
blinked in unison.
Pelya sat upright in a cold sweat. She threw aside the covers and scanned the
room. To her relief, there were no
monks, nor a Crazed God.
The floor was cool under her feet as she moved to the window. In the east, a touch of morning light lined
the horizon with the promise of another clear, warm day. At one of the houses, the silhouette of a
woman yawned and stretched on the front step in anticipation of the day.
Pelya sat on the bed and buried her face in her hands for a
moment, trying to find the willpower to make it through another day. Eventually, she gathered her bags and heading
downstairs.
The morning innkeeper, a young man who was probably the
innkeeper’s son, served her porridge for breakfast. He didn’t notice her glum manner as she ate
quickly and slipped out of the empty common room.
Terry was sleeping in the stables next to Honey’s
stall. She jumped up, startled when
Pelya dropped the saddlebags noisily. “Huh? Oh! I
was hoping to catch you before you left.”
Terry wiped the sleep from her eyes.
“I wanted you to know that I took the best care of both horses. I bathed them and had the blacksmith come and
check their shoes.”
“That is
exceptional service. Thank you. Can I trust you with these saddlebags while I
get the rest of my things?”
“Let me get them for you!
Then I’ll get your tack and gear on the horses. You sit and take it easy. Have you had breakfast?”
“Yes.”
Terry waited, expecting more of an answer. “. . . Oh.
Can I enter your room or is the lock still there?”
“You can enter. There
is no lock and I’ve removed the wards.”
Pelya greeted Honey, who snorted and bumped her cheek over the gate of
the stall.
“I’ll be done in a bit then.” Terry ran off.
Pelya went out to the stable yard. It was empty.
She decided to stretch and exercise.
It didn’t take Terry long to bring down the bags and pull
the horses out of their stalls.
After stretching, Pelya felt limber, so she drew her main
sword. As with almost any weapon
purchased in the City of Dralin, it had magic.
This was partially because there were so many mages and their
apprentices to enchant them and partially because a person needed one to be
effective in battle against the wizards that populated the city. The sword was made of light steel and darted
through the air like a hummingbird while she practiced with it.
She drew her secondary sword and did a cursory
examination. It was shorter than her
main, but much more deadly. The blade
was the width of two fingers at the crossbar.
Its sharpened edges tapered gradually to the point. The metal glistened in the dawn light,
showing no runes even though it held powerful magic. The blade didn’t look like steel, silver or
any other metal she had seen, it was softer somehow. Pelya stepped back and hefted it. It was very light and the braided hilt fit
nicely in her hand.
Pelya rolled her shoulders and spun the blades. She moved her legs and began the drills that
would keep her sharp and ready for battle.
Each thrust and parry was precise.
Normally, she exercised every morning to stay limber. The last few days had been an exception and she
could feel it in the tightness of her muscles.
When Pelya stopped, Terry cautiously came forward. She had been watching for a while. “Your horses are ready. Honey is eager to go.”
Pelya saw the warhorse stomping energetically. She would have to give her a run to work off
some of the extra energy.
“I’ve never seen anyone move like you do.” Terry fidgeted with a horse brush in her
hands. “Who are you?”
“I’m no one.” Pelya
sheathed the swords and went to Honey.
She put her foot in the stirrup and mounted effortlessly. Looking around, Pelya saw that they were
alone, so she leaned over and slipped Terry two more silver pieces. “I haven’t told your father about these. If you ever leave, go anywhere but Dralin.”
Pelya retrieved the lead of the packhorse. As she left the stables and inn behind, she
realized she had never learned the name of the village.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
What goes into building a fantasy city
Rome wasn't built in a day.
Yes. I know, but I'm not trying to build Rome. I'm trying to build a city for my book.
That must be a very impressive book if you need a city to house it in.
No, no. I'm not housing the book in a city, I need to build an imaginary city.
So that your imaginary emo bunnies have someplace to live?
*Sigh* You're just not getting the point. I'm writing a book. In it, the characters are visiting a city, so I need to describe it to the reader. That's what I mean about building a city.
And don't call my emo bunnies imaginary.
Sorry.
It's okay. So about that city I'm building . . .
Why do you need to build a city for your characters?
I'm glad you asked. Stories need settings. Does the book occur in a city, a desert, a forest? . . .
I don't know. It's your book, silly.
Quit interrupting. The point is that the setting needs to be developed for the reader. So I'm going to explain the process I go through in writing a city setting.
Neat!
Right? Okay. So I've decided I need a city in my current book. I spent some time coming up with a name for it. "Aest" (I originally named it Amarash) I've also decided that it will be the capital city of the kingdom it's in.
So now I have to decide how much of this city to describe. That depends largely on how much time my characters are going to spend there. If they're are just passing by, I can say they saw the city in the distance and leave it at that. If they're staying for the night, I have to tell a little bit more. If they're going to interact with anyone or anything in the city, then I need to go into a fair amount of detail.
The city I've described the most in the world of Ryallon is Dralin. The first book of the Dralin Trilogy is named Dralin, which gives a few clues to as to how much I had to explain it. I went into great detail about the building styles, politics, people, dress, weather and just about anything else. Dralin is its own character.
What does the writer need to know about the city? What does the reader need to know?
You might think that the writer needs to know everything about the city, and many do. I used to spend a great deal of time going over the details, but my writing style has changed. I only figure out what I need in order to tell the story now. It saves a great deal of time. Occasionally, I'll figure out more details for my own curiosity, but I don't always share them.
Then I look at it from the character's perspective. What's important to them. What do they notice? This is all the reader needs to know too. They need to see the city from the characters' eyes. They need to see the parts the characters interact with.
Aest
So I'm building the city of Aest and the characters are going to stay there for a few days, maybe a couple of weeks. It's important to give a good amount of information. These are some of the things I'm going to look at describing to the reader.
1. What does the city look like, sound like, smell like, taste like and feel like? I believe it's important for a writer to communicate to all of the reader's senses. There are a lot of details that goes into this.
2. What are the people like? More than anything, this will tell the reader what the city is like.
3. What are the politics like? This will go a great deal in influencing the reader's perception.
4. How powerful is/are the religion(s)? This can have great affect on the city.
4. Is it at peace, war torn, or under the threat of war? A surprising detail that establishes the mood of the people and affects the appearance of the city.
5.What is the weather like? This is a detail that helps to establish mood.
6. What's the air quality? An odd fact that can help add detail and mood.
7. Does it have a sewer system? Vital for thieves guilds, assassins and secret entrances into anywhere.
Appearance
What does the city look like? Start with how the buildings look. Are they wood, stone, or possibly tree houses? Are they run-down? Are they well built? Does the city have a wall? These details can tell the reader a lot.
You can also add whether or not there are parks or statues, a sign of wealth and concern for the citizen's comfort. Are the streets paved?
What does the city smell like? Do people refuse to bathe? Is the city thick with smog? Is there trash in the streets? Does it leave a bad taste in the mouth?
What does the city sound like? Do people shout and yell at each other? A marketplace is always noisy except at night. Is there a low hum of noises? Do children laugh in the streets? Perhaps it's quiet because people are afraid to come out of their houses.
What does the city feel like? You can tell the reader that it's grimy, or that the air is clean. You can say that your readers get an uncomfortable sensation from walking down an alley.
These details really help immerse the reader into your story. Don't over describe though. Try to slip in a few details about it in between conversation if you can.
People
This will tell the reader more about the city than anything. Try to establish this right away. Have your character talk to someone that represents the average person. The attitude of the people on the street will help to explain the prevailing mood. People will be different at day than night.
Also, have your character talk to a guardsman or soldier of the city and use it to describe whether the people are oppressed or happy by the manners of law enforcement. A guard that challenges the character makes the city hostile. A welcoming guard makes the city friendly.
Innkeepers are one of your most useful resources. They have all the information about the town, as do inn patrons. Is the inn expensive or run down?
Shopkeepers are another good source of setting the mood. Do they trade freely? Do they haggle? Are they honest or dishonest?
Politics
Is the city a small town run by a mayor or council? Does the military run it? Is it perhaps the capital of the country, as in the case of Aest.
Is the government just or corrupt? This is probably the most vital piece of information that will determine how the main characters are treated.
Religion
Religions tend to bring order to a city. If there is a large religious presence, then a city is more likely to have strict laws and moral codes. If there is no religion or system of belief, (like a monestary, or Druid grove) then it the town is likely to be lawless. Too much religion can create a suppressive environment for the citizens and make it difficult for your characters to accomplish anything.
You can also have negative religions, like a death cult, or temple of trickery. Those will add completely different flavors to your city.
War
If a town is at peace, it will likely have happy citizens that walk around freely, and children playing in yards. Information will be freely given. The weather is likely to be sunny and the season likely to be spring. You'd be amazed at how much weather affects the opinions of the reader. Flowers will grow and birds will sing in the tree. Houses are likely to be painted and clean.
If the threat of war looms, people will be nervous and huddle in groups. There will be lots of frowns. Soldiers will patrol the streets and be suspicious of any newcomers. The weather will likely be cloudy.
And if war has beaten the city down, there will be feral dogs and rats on the streets rather than people. The citizens will be huddled in their homes or in taverns, worried that their drink may be the last. Shadows will be everywhere and the weather is likely to be too hot or cold in the middle of summer or winter. Buildings will be in disrepair.
Another side affect is cripples and homeless. War leaves people broken. A beggar's guild is very likely in a war torn city.
Weather
In the last section, I mentioned weather. This doesn't apply to just cities, but every scene in just about every genre of book.
Sunny days show hope, but too much sun can beat down and oppress the characters.
Rainy days are sad, but a light shower can wash away worries and the day's heat.
Blizzards get people lost. Utter cold drive despair into the stoutest of hearts. However, a light fluffy snow can be fun for children to play in.
Weather is quite simply one of the most effective tools a writer can use to set the mood of a scene.
Air Quality
Here's something few writers think of. Is it smoggy? Are there a few chimneys with smoke. Is it a nice, pleasant village with trees and pure air? Dralin, in my world, is filled with pollution, both magical and mundane. It clogs the air and even poisons people. Air quality is an underutilized detail in writing often times.
Sewer system
Sewer Systems are very useful for hideouts, especially in D&D style stories. But in addition to hideouts for thieves, rats and human waste, they also help to tell how clean the city is. A good sewer system will allow trash and waste to flow from the streets. A city or town without one can flood easy and is likely to have trash built up in the streets as London was in the dark ages. As with London, that can lead to disease and plagues.
Conclusion
There are countless other details, but these are a good start for things to consider while city building. As far as my city of Aest goes, it's a capital city with a castle, a university and a fair amount of adventure to be had. :)
All my best,
John H. Carroll
Yes. I know, but I'm not trying to build Rome. I'm trying to build a city for my book.
![]() |
| Probably Rome |
That must be a very impressive book if you need a city to house it in.
No, no. I'm not housing the book in a city, I need to build an imaginary city.
So that your imaginary emo bunnies have someplace to live?
*Sigh* You're just not getting the point. I'm writing a book. In it, the characters are visiting a city, so I need to describe it to the reader. That's what I mean about building a city.
And don't call my emo bunnies imaginary.
Sorry.
It's okay. So about that city I'm building . . .
Why do you need to build a city for your characters?
I'm glad you asked. Stories need settings. Does the book occur in a city, a desert, a forest? . . .
I don't know. It's your book, silly.
Quit interrupting. The point is that the setting needs to be developed for the reader. So I'm going to explain the process I go through in writing a city setting.
Neat!
Right? Okay. So I've decided I need a city in my current book. I spent some time coming up with a name for it. "Aest" (I originally named it Amarash) I've also decided that it will be the capital city of the kingdom it's in.
So now I have to decide how much of this city to describe. That depends largely on how much time my characters are going to spend there. If they're are just passing by, I can say they saw the city in the distance and leave it at that. If they're staying for the night, I have to tell a little bit more. If they're going to interact with anyone or anything in the city, then I need to go into a fair amount of detail.
The city I've described the most in the world of Ryallon is Dralin. The first book of the Dralin Trilogy is named Dralin, which gives a few clues to as to how much I had to explain it. I went into great detail about the building styles, politics, people, dress, weather and just about anything else. Dralin is its own character.
What does the writer need to know about the city? What does the reader need to know?
You might think that the writer needs to know everything about the city, and many do. I used to spend a great deal of time going over the details, but my writing style has changed. I only figure out what I need in order to tell the story now. It saves a great deal of time. Occasionally, I'll figure out more details for my own curiosity, but I don't always share them.
Then I look at it from the character's perspective. What's important to them. What do they notice? This is all the reader needs to know too. They need to see the city from the characters' eyes. They need to see the parts the characters interact with.
Aest
So I'm building the city of Aest and the characters are going to stay there for a few days, maybe a couple of weeks. It's important to give a good amount of information. These are some of the things I'm going to look at describing to the reader.
1. What does the city look like, sound like, smell like, taste like and feel like? I believe it's important for a writer to communicate to all of the reader's senses. There are a lot of details that goes into this.
2. What are the people like? More than anything, this will tell the reader what the city is like.
3. What are the politics like? This will go a great deal in influencing the reader's perception.
4. How powerful is/are the religion(s)? This can have great affect on the city.
4. Is it at peace, war torn, or under the threat of war? A surprising detail that establishes the mood of the people and affects the appearance of the city.
5.What is the weather like? This is a detail that helps to establish mood.
6. What's the air quality? An odd fact that can help add detail and mood.
7. Does it have a sewer system? Vital for thieves guilds, assassins and secret entrances into anywhere.
Appearance
What does the city look like? Start with how the buildings look. Are they wood, stone, or possibly tree houses? Are they run-down? Are they well built? Does the city have a wall? These details can tell the reader a lot.
You can also add whether or not there are parks or statues, a sign of wealth and concern for the citizen's comfort. Are the streets paved?
What does the city smell like? Do people refuse to bathe? Is the city thick with smog? Is there trash in the streets? Does it leave a bad taste in the mouth?
What does the city sound like? Do people shout and yell at each other? A marketplace is always noisy except at night. Is there a low hum of noises? Do children laugh in the streets? Perhaps it's quiet because people are afraid to come out of their houses.
What does the city feel like? You can tell the reader that it's grimy, or that the air is clean. You can say that your readers get an uncomfortable sensation from walking down an alley.
These details really help immerse the reader into your story. Don't over describe though. Try to slip in a few details about it in between conversation if you can.
People
This will tell the reader more about the city than anything. Try to establish this right away. Have your character talk to someone that represents the average person. The attitude of the people on the street will help to explain the prevailing mood. People will be different at day than night.
Also, have your character talk to a guardsman or soldier of the city and use it to describe whether the people are oppressed or happy by the manners of law enforcement. A guard that challenges the character makes the city hostile. A welcoming guard makes the city friendly.
Innkeepers are one of your most useful resources. They have all the information about the town, as do inn patrons. Is the inn expensive or run down?
Shopkeepers are another good source of setting the mood. Do they trade freely? Do they haggle? Are they honest or dishonest?
![]() |
| Probably people |
Politics
Is the city a small town run by a mayor or council? Does the military run it? Is it perhaps the capital of the country, as in the case of Aest.
Is the government just or corrupt? This is probably the most vital piece of information that will determine how the main characters are treated.
Religion
Religions tend to bring order to a city. If there is a large religious presence, then a city is more likely to have strict laws and moral codes. If there is no religion or system of belief, (like a monestary, or Druid grove) then it the town is likely to be lawless. Too much religion can create a suppressive environment for the citizens and make it difficult for your characters to accomplish anything.
You can also have negative religions, like a death cult, or temple of trickery. Those will add completely different flavors to your city.
War
If a town is at peace, it will likely have happy citizens that walk around freely, and children playing in yards. Information will be freely given. The weather is likely to be sunny and the season likely to be spring. You'd be amazed at how much weather affects the opinions of the reader. Flowers will grow and birds will sing in the tree. Houses are likely to be painted and clean.
If the threat of war looms, people will be nervous and huddle in groups. There will be lots of frowns. Soldiers will patrol the streets and be suspicious of any newcomers. The weather will likely be cloudy.
And if war has beaten the city down, there will be feral dogs and rats on the streets rather than people. The citizens will be huddled in their homes or in taverns, worried that their drink may be the last. Shadows will be everywhere and the weather is likely to be too hot or cold in the middle of summer or winter. Buildings will be in disrepair.
Another side affect is cripples and homeless. War leaves people broken. A beggar's guild is very likely in a war torn city.
Weather
In the last section, I mentioned weather. This doesn't apply to just cities, but every scene in just about every genre of book.
Sunny days show hope, but too much sun can beat down and oppress the characters.
Rainy days are sad, but a light shower can wash away worries and the day's heat.
Blizzards get people lost. Utter cold drive despair into the stoutest of hearts. However, a light fluffy snow can be fun for children to play in.
Weather is quite simply one of the most effective tools a writer can use to set the mood of a scene.
![]() |
| Probably weather |
Air Quality
Here's something few writers think of. Is it smoggy? Are there a few chimneys with smoke. Is it a nice, pleasant village with trees and pure air? Dralin, in my world, is filled with pollution, both magical and mundane. It clogs the air and even poisons people. Air quality is an underutilized detail in writing often times.
Sewer system
Sewer Systems are very useful for hideouts, especially in D&D style stories. But in addition to hideouts for thieves, rats and human waste, they also help to tell how clean the city is. A good sewer system will allow trash and waste to flow from the streets. A city or town without one can flood easy and is likely to have trash built up in the streets as London was in the dark ages. As with London, that can lead to disease and plagues.
![]() |
| Probably a sewer |
Conclusion
There are countless other details, but these are a good start for things to consider while city building. As far as my city of Aest goes, it's a capital city with a castle, a university and a fair amount of adventure to be had. :)
All my best,
John H. Carroll
Monday, March 4, 2013
Book review: Priscilla the Great
"Priscilla the Great" by Sybil Nelson
Description
Meet Priscilla Sumner, an ordinary seventh grader with extraordinary gifts. As if middle school isn’t hard enough, not only does Priscilla have to fight pimples and bullies, but genetically enhanced assassins trying to kill her and her family. Armed with wit, strength, and a genius best friend, Priscilla must defeat the Selliwood Institute, an organization dead set on turning children into killing machines.
Add an older brother annoyingly obsessed with Christina Aguilera, mischievous baby twin brothers who could scare the sin off of Satan, and parents more puzzling than a Rubik’s cube in the Bermuda triangle and expect a smoking page-turner!
You can get this book at
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004WSQNZ2
Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/priscilla-the-great-sybil-nelson/1100449649
Kobo: http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/Priscilla-the-Great/book-7KpQtrEyJUCaGRvNHj2VeQ/page1.html
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/58005?ref=johnhcarroll
My Review
If Nancy Drew had a child one of the X-Men, you'd have someone almost as awesome as Priscilla the Great. This story is written for preteens through young adults, but it's an excellent read for all ages. As far as why I chose to read it instead of one of my normal fantasy books, well . . . slight confession: I've read all the Nancy Drew series, most of the Hardy Boys, all the Tom Swift, all the Cherry Ames . . . and lots of other books geared to young adult. It's what I read before someone introduced me to my first Xanth book at the age of 14. I've actually had this one in my Kindle for over a year now (along with a bazillion other books, or however many the Kindle holds)
I really, really, really enjoyed this book. Priscilla is a likable character who goes through the standard frustrations of a 12 year old, but also has a few twists thrown in. She's not without her personality flaws, but they're realistic and the reader can totally sympathize with them. She's got a brothers that make her life difficult, as brothers are supposed to do, and an overprotective father. Her mother is always absent, which upsets Priscilla more than perhaps anything. A couple of boys and a best friend complicate matters, as they should. That's their job after all.
Then information about the Selliwood Institute starts to appear. I can't tell you too much without giving spoilers. Mix in shady experiments, children, government plots and you get a story that's filled with adventure, danger and mystery. There's no end to the suspense. I started reading and didn't stop until I had finished the story a few hours later.
The only negative I found was that certain things stretch believability a little bit, but it wasn't enough to detract from the story, and it might not be a problem for it's target audience, which is probably people under the age of 40. *chuckling*
I highly recommend this book for preteens on up. It's a great story with characters that the reader can relate to. I've already purchased the next in the series and will be getting more as I finish each one. Oh yeah, there's about 8 or so of them, so it's plenty to keep a reader interested.
About the Author
Sybil Nelson lives in Charleston, SC. She is a former math teacher and has a master’s degree in mathematics from the College of Charleston and bachelor’s degrees from Washington and Lee University. She is currently pursuing a PhD in biostatistics and continues to write in her spare time. To date, Sybil has completed eight novels.
Disclaimer
I have decided to review books that I enjoy. I am an avid reader of fantasy, so most of them will be in that genre. I'm not taking any requests, just reading what catches my eyes. You'll find that most of these are from Indie Authors. The way I figure it, David Eddings, Anne McCaffrey, Alan Dean Foster and Piers Anthony (my favorite authors) already have enough reviews, but Indies could always use a few more.
It is important to note here that while I am a writer, I am doing these reviews as a reader. I also know a number of the authors I will be reviewing. This is not an exchange of reviews, nor have I been solicited by those authors to write the review. If I don't like a book, I won't review it. At no time will I ever accept any form of payment for a review. When I say that I'm am doing this as a reader, I mean it. I get nothing in exchange.
All my best,
John H. Carroll
![]() |
| http://www.priscillathegreat.com/ |
Description
Meet Priscilla Sumner, an ordinary seventh grader with extraordinary gifts. As if middle school isn’t hard enough, not only does Priscilla have to fight pimples and bullies, but genetically enhanced assassins trying to kill her and her family. Armed with wit, strength, and a genius best friend, Priscilla must defeat the Selliwood Institute, an organization dead set on turning children into killing machines.
Add an older brother annoyingly obsessed with Christina Aguilera, mischievous baby twin brothers who could scare the sin off of Satan, and parents more puzzling than a Rubik’s cube in the Bermuda triangle and expect a smoking page-turner!
You can get this book at
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004WSQNZ2
Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/priscilla-the-great-sybil-nelson/1100449649
Kobo: http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/Priscilla-the-Great/book-7KpQtrEyJUCaGRvNHj2VeQ/page1.html
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/58005?ref=johnhcarroll
My Review
If Nancy Drew had a child one of the X-Men, you'd have someone almost as awesome as Priscilla the Great. This story is written for preteens through young adults, but it's an excellent read for all ages. As far as why I chose to read it instead of one of my normal fantasy books, well . . . slight confession: I've read all the Nancy Drew series, most of the Hardy Boys, all the Tom Swift, all the Cherry Ames . . . and lots of other books geared to young adult. It's what I read before someone introduced me to my first Xanth book at the age of 14. I've actually had this one in my Kindle for over a year now (along with a bazillion other books, or however many the Kindle holds)
I really, really, really enjoyed this book. Priscilla is a likable character who goes through the standard frustrations of a 12 year old, but also has a few twists thrown in. She's not without her personality flaws, but they're realistic and the reader can totally sympathize with them. She's got a brothers that make her life difficult, as brothers are supposed to do, and an overprotective father. Her mother is always absent, which upsets Priscilla more than perhaps anything. A couple of boys and a best friend complicate matters, as they should. That's their job after all.
Then information about the Selliwood Institute starts to appear. I can't tell you too much without giving spoilers. Mix in shady experiments, children, government plots and you get a story that's filled with adventure, danger and mystery. There's no end to the suspense. I started reading and didn't stop until I had finished the story a few hours later.
The only negative I found was that certain things stretch believability a little bit, but it wasn't enough to detract from the story, and it might not be a problem for it's target audience, which is probably people under the age of 40. *chuckling*
I highly recommend this book for preteens on up. It's a great story with characters that the reader can relate to. I've already purchased the next in the series and will be getting more as I finish each one. Oh yeah, there's about 8 or so of them, so it's plenty to keep a reader interested.
About the Author
Sybil Nelson lives in Charleston, SC. She is a former math teacher and has a master’s degree in mathematics from the College of Charleston and bachelor’s degrees from Washington and Lee University. She is currently pursuing a PhD in biostatistics and continues to write in her spare time. To date, Sybil has completed eight novels.
Disclaimer
I have decided to review books that I enjoy. I am an avid reader of fantasy, so most of them will be in that genre. I'm not taking any requests, just reading what catches my eyes. You'll find that most of these are from Indie Authors. The way I figure it, David Eddings, Anne McCaffrey, Alan Dean Foster and Piers Anthony (my favorite authors) already have enough reviews, but Indies could always use a few more.
It is important to note here that while I am a writer, I am doing these reviews as a reader. I also know a number of the authors I will be reviewing. This is not an exchange of reviews, nor have I been solicited by those authors to write the review. If I don't like a book, I won't review it. At no time will I ever accept any form of payment for a review. When I say that I'm am doing this as a reader, I mean it. I get nothing in exchange.
All my best,
John H. Carroll
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