My Fiance, My love

Explanation

I have been writing (mostly bad) poetry since I was 21.  This is very odd considering I absolutely hate poetry.  Poetry drives me up a wall.  As a form of writing, it tends to be overly impressed with itself.  If someone wishes to say something, it's best just to come out and say it instead of tying it up in uselessly colorful words that confuse the entire situation.

So . . . now that I've gone on a rant about how much I dislike poetry . . . Let's get back to the fact that I write it. *sigh*  The fact of the matter is, poetry is a very useful tool for writers.  It's a way to get concepts, images and ideas onto paper and experiment with words.  It's also awesome for saying lovey-dovey-gushy stuff.

That's what this poem is.  My wife and I have been together for nearly 16 years and we've been married nearly 15.  I wrote this particular poem in 1996, shortly after I asked Tracy to marry me. :)  I found it in my notebook of poetry and decided to tortur . . . share it with you. *evil laughter*

Please understand that this was written before I was writing consistently.  The technical merits of the writing are . . . non-existant.  It could be written much better, but I'm not going to edit it.  I figure she still married me ever after I gave this to her soooooo . . .

The Poem

My Fiancé, My Love

What a joy to love

And a joy to be loved

To feel the warmth of a heart

To give my hear to another

So long have I wandered

Alone with my dreams

Dreams of romance and compassion

Dreams of love

The world was as an old movie

Always black and white

Colors were nonexistent

All was faded and dull

Smiles were half-hearted

Genuine, yet with a tinge of sadness

A smile always wanting more

Needing an unknown strength

Eyes without a twinkle

Mostly guarded and closed

A distant longing

Ever present deep within

So much beauty seen

So many experiences enjoyed

Always half-empty

Known only by me

I looked to my side

Only to see no one there

I jumped at life

Only to find it wanting

Often I have sighed

Dreaming impossible dreams

Often I lay down

To feel my bed empty

I have known happiness

But it has always been lacking

Needing somewhat more

Wanting to be fuller

This is what has gone before

This is how it used to be

This is when I was alone

Before I met you

Now my life is full

Color surrounds me everywhere

My surroundings vivid

Full of life and energy

My smiles are now bright

Whole and complete

My heart wants to sing

Strong and loud to all

My eyes shine with love

Twinkling with laughter

Proud with knowledge of you

Confident with joy

The beauty I see is you

For it is hard to look away

Experiences are shared

Enjoyed to the fullest

I look to my side

To see you always there

Life is now complete

A road to walk with you

Still I sigh often

But with contentment

I lay down

To find your warmth waiting

I now know true happiness

Lacking not; because of you

Needing nothing more

But to share my life with you

Thank you for saying yes

For giving your love to me

For accepting my love to you

Thank you for being

I love you Tracy

John

Copyright 1996 John H. Carroll