Friday, July 22, 2011

My Fiance, My love


I have been writing (mostly bad) poetry since I was 21.  This is very odd considering I absolutely hate poetry.  Poetry drives me up a wall.  As a form of writing, it tends to be overly impressed with itself.  If someone wishes to say something, it's best just to come out and say it instead of tying it up in uselessly colorful words that confuse the entire situation.

So . . . now that I've gone on a rant about how much I dislike poetry . . . Let's get back to the fact that I write it. *sigh*  The fact of the matter is, poetry is a very useful tool for writers.  It's a way to get concepts, images and ideas onto paper and experiment with words.  It's also awesome for saying lovey-dovey-gushy stuff.

That's what this poem is.  My wife and I have been together for nearly 16 years and we've been married nearly 15.  I wrote this particular poem in 1996, shortly after I asked Tracy to marry me. :)  I found it in my notebook of poetry and decided to tortur . . . share it with you. *evil laughter*

Please understand that this was written before I was writing consistently.  The technical merits of the writing are . . . non-existant.  It could be written much better, but I'm not going to edit it.  I figure she still married me ever after I gave this to her soooooo . . .

The Poem

My Fiancé, My Love

What a joy to love
And a joy to be loved
To feel the warmth of a heart
To give my hear to another

So long have I wandered
Alone with my dreams
Dreams of romance and compassion
Dreams of love

The world was as an old movie
Always black and white
Colors were nonexistent
All was faded and dull

Smiles were half-hearted
Genuine, yet with a tinge of sadness
A smile always wanting more
Needing an unknown strength

Eyes without a twinkle
Mostly guarded and closed
A distant longing
Ever present deep within

So much beauty seen
So many experiences enjoyed
Always half-empty
Known only by me

I looked to my side
Only to see no one there
I jumped at life
Only to find it wanting

Often I have sighed
Dreaming impossible dreams
Often I lay down
To feel my bed empty

I have known happiness
But it has always been lacking
Needing somewhat more
Wanting to be fuller

This is what has gone before
This is how it used to be
This is when I was alone
Before I met you

Now my life is full
Color surrounds me everywhere
My surroundings vivid
Full of life and energy

My smiles are now bright
Whole and complete
My heart wants to sing
Strong and loud to all

My eyes shine with love
Twinkling with laughter
Proud with knowledge of you
Confident with joy

The beauty I see is you
For it is hard to look away
Experiences are shared
Enjoyed to the fullest

I look to my side
To see you always there
Life is now complete
A road to walk with you

Still I sigh often
But with contentment
I lay down
To find your warmth waiting

I now know true happiness
Lacking not; because of you
Needing nothing more
But to share my life with you

Thank you for saying yes
For giving your love to me
For accepting my love to you
Thank you for being

I love you Tracy


Copyright 1996 John H. Carroll


Anonymous said...

I love that! =)

John H. Carroll said...

Thank you Anonymous. :) I like writing the love poems.

Emily Carosidy said...

Wonderful poem. Loved it :)

John H. Carroll said...

Hi Emily. :) Thank you. I apologize for the late response. I'll post more poems in the future.