Monday, June 26, 2017

Movie Review: Logan

Three Grumpy Old Men and a Violent Child

My Review

I recently forced my son to watch Logan with me.  Pretty sure that makes me a horrible father.

This is a horrible movie.  The good guys are miserable and really not worth rooting for.  The basic premise of the movie is that this world sucks and it's going down from here, so let's just slash everyone.  We should set a fabulously bad example for the only children left like us while we're at it.

The actors in this movie are far too good to give such a horrible script to.  If I was Wolverine, I would have slashed the script and stabbed the producers through the chin like he does to the bad guys no one really cares about.  If I was professor Xavier, I would have mentally convinced everyone not to waste their money.

My expression while suffering through the movie

I have no idea what the critics and fans who said this was good were thinking.  Maybe the little girl in the movie threatened to shove them in a locker after school and stab them through the door if they said anything bad.  Hard to tell.

I've been a comic book fan since before I could read.  I enjoy most of the movies related to comics and I'm not even too worried about whether or not they stick to canon as long as they're entertaining.  This was not entertaining.  I realized I've become immune to seeing fake blades and blood all over the place and it's become more of a yawn than it is impressive.  There's no shock value left to the gore.  They just do it to hide the fact that there's no real plot or decent dialogue.

I suppose I could go on, but I've already wasted my money.  I have no desire to waste further words.

All my best,

John H. Carroll

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