Thursday, September 22, 2011

The hats an Indie Author wears

This is about all the hats an Indie Author has to wear when self-publishing.  I would like to note that it's very important to have the emo bunnies do these positions, because trying to do them by oneself could lead to insanity.


This is your job.  Don't worry about any of the rest.  Let the emo bunnies take care of it.

Emo Bunny in charge

This is the bunny that makes certain all the other emo bunnies are doing their jobs; the CEmO, the Executive Director Bunny, the President Bunny.  However, this emo bunny usually spends all his time on the golf course eating the grass, so he doesn't count.

Emo Bunny Editor

This is the bunny that makes certain the story is good.  She is responsible for the flow of the story and cuts things that don't add to the main plot.

Emo Bunny Copy Editor

This is the bunny that makes certain every word is spelled correctly and is in the right place.  This emo bunny tends to take a lot of naps and loses focus often when working for Indie Authors.

Emo Bunny Publisher

This is the bunny responsible for getting files formatted and uploaded to Smashwords, Amazon, B&N, Apple, Sony, Kobo, Diesel, Scribd, Wattpad . . . and numerous others.  It's very important that everything be done exactly right here, so have Emo Bunny Resources put your least depressed bunny in charge of this.

Emo Bunny Marketer

By far the busiest job.  It's best to have numerous bunnies to work on this.  They won't talk to each other much unless it's about how much they like rainy days.  They post new releases to forums,, Ereader News Today, Breakthrough Bookstore, Goodreads, Book Junkies Library, etc . . . Due to so many bunnies working on this, things usually get missed.


Emo Bunny PR Agent

Very similar to the marketer, but this one handles emails, facebook, twitter and everyday conversations on forums that aren't about the books.  These bunnies should be cute because they're trying to get people to like the writer.  Luckily, emo bunnies are even cuter than normal bunnies.

Emo Bunny Accountant

This is a very boring job for most bunnies working for Indie Authors not named Amanda Hocking, making it the most sought after.  Even though it deals with complicated numbers and even taxes, there's usually not enough revenue to stress over anything.  Of course that never stops an emo bunny from stressing.

Emo Bunny Resources

This is the equivalent of Human Resources.  But since Indie Authors can't afford humans, we have to settle for emo bunnies.  This office is responsible for keeping track of them.  It's usually unstaffed due to lack of interest.


It's a really bad idea for an author to try to take on all of these tasks alone.  Publishing houses have large staffs of humans to do all of it.  If you can't afford humans, get minions.  My minions just happen to be emo bunnies.  I advise against getting ducks because they're noisy, obnoxious and they nip.

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